16 hours until what?!?!?!

Once upon a time I had a different blog.   It was called Live Lees (get it?).   I wrote in that blog from 2004-2009.   The blog was mostly for geographically scattered family members to read stories about our growing girls, and it was a place I could post pictures so family could watch them grow from a far.   Then in 2009, I abruptly stopped.   Can anyone guess what happened in 2009?  Why I might have stopped using a blog to update people about our lives and post pictures?  Any guesses at all?

In any case, as luck would have it, I was perusing this blog recently and I discovered that the very first post I made was the night before Sophie started kindergarten.    I was musing about what it meant to me to have both my kids in school.  Here is the link to that blog: 16 hours to go and the pictures that go with it.   It was called "16 hours to go" because I had 16 hours until both of them boarded the big yellow school bus.

And now, quite suddenly it seems, I am on the other side and in 16 hours (more or less) I will no longer have a kid in the school system.

Except I'm not sure what that means.

I knew what it meant to have kids IN school.  It gave the day, my life, structure.  It meant getting up at a certain time, making breakfast and lunches, getting everyone outside, waving them off on the bus, going outside at the appointed hour to get them off the bus and then spending the afternoon shuttling everyone to activities.   The next day was just a repeat.

I have no idea what it means to NOT have kids in school.
Summer will start tomorrow.   In mid-May.  That is just crazy.
My college kid is done.
And now, my high school kid is done too?

And what does this mean for me?
They both drive.  They both have jobs.  They have one car to share.
That means a lot of fights over the car.  And, I'm guessing on some days, one of them will manage to convince me to give them my car, leaving me stranded.   Alone.   And, I'll be left to write silly blog posts like this one.   But, with no kids in school, whatever will I write about?

I am really not sure what my life will look like in 16 hours.  But here are some thoughts on some things I know will be true.

16 things in 16 hours,

1.  I will no longer care AT ALL about whether kindergarten is half day or full day.
2.  I will never have to pay for a bus pass, or parking pass again (but in retrospect it really is a lot cheaper than college tuition)
3.  This household will never, ever again have to get up and have breakfast and lunch ready before 6 a.m.!!!!  Can I hear a Hallelujah?
4.  This household will never have have to get sleep deprived teenagers out the door before the clock strikes 7 ever again.  Unless of course, we are catching a flight to some exotic locale and then I don't think getting them up will be a problem.
5.  I will never have to leave a store to beat the school bus home again.  Not that I've had to do that for a while.  Although, I have on occasion raced back to the house to beat my daughter and her boyfriend home.
6.  I will never make an after school snack again.  Wait.  Was that a thing?  Was I supposed to do that?
7.  I will never, ever EVER again have to rush a school project, paper or permission slip to the school across town ASAP!  Phew!
8.  I will never get a call from the school nurse again telling me my child is "sick".  I will never have to decide if it's real or if she's faking.   I will never have to go pick up that kid at school and try to assess as she walks from the school to the car if she is actually sick.  Some of the finest acting I have seen over the years, has been watching this short walk.  A special Brava! to my youngest child.   She really gave this walk her all and at times it was an Oscar worthy performance!  Note to my kids: we are paying about a bazillion dollars for every single college class you attend.  So, please go to class and don't pretend to be sick.
9.  Snow days will be meaningless to me.
10.  High school drama will be a thing of the past.
11.  High school theater will be a thing of the past.
12. I can finally forget everything I ever learned about high school math.   Not that I was ever very good at it.
13. I will never have to worry on a Sunday night if the kids got their homework done.  The answer was always "yes" anyway, usually followed by a "oh S*@t!" on Monday morning as they realized that it was not actually done.
14. SATs, ACTs, MCAS are all just meaningless letters now.
15. I will never have to write a check before 6 a.m. again for something that has to be paid TODAY!
16. In 16 hours, I will immediately become one of those curmudgeons who doesn't want to see their taxes raised to help pay for school improvements (Just kidding, I am a strong believer in good public schools and will always be willing to pay for them to be improved.)

Now, I am challenging myself to not make this blog post mushy, or profound, so I'm not going to delve into all the other things that will happen in 16 hours, and what that will mean for me and my family.  Nope.  Not going to do it.

The truth is, in 16 hours, I will have to start giving some long, hard thought to what I want to do when I grow up!  Yikes!

Why We Are Proud

In a couple of days I will no longer be a parent with a child in the public school system.
In a couple of days my youngest child will have her last day of school, then she will graduate, and then we, as a family, will be off the grid.   Sure, our kids are still in school but not down the street, not even in the same town.   The familiar hum that has buzzed in the background of our lives for the last fifteen years will quiet.   It will be strange.   Tonight will be our last school concert. I can't even count how many concerts we have been to over the years.    The strong music program in our school system was a major factor in why we stayed in here and it has been "instrumental" in shaping our kids into who they are, and for that we are eternally grateful.   I am sure, and I apologize in advance, that for the next few weeks my social media sites will be full of "end of year" "end of an era" pictures.   Most likely they will feature a clean, happy, well-coiffed girl and her proud parents.   And, we are quite proud.  

But here's the thing, and I think most parents of new graduates would agree, these pictures, as lovely as they are, don't even come close to showing the world why we are proud of our kids.   And, even if you looked at every single picture I've ever posted, I doubt you would find that golden nugget of what makes us beam with pride.   We are ever so happy that our kids managed to complete thirteen years of school without failing or being kicked out.  That is indeed quite an accomplishment.  We are pleased that they can clean up so nicely, put on a lovely dress, and look confident and beautiful either alone or next to a handsome date for prom.   We are even more pleased when that pretty girl comes home safely at the end of the evening (pretty please!).  That is truly every parent's dream.   We are so happy when our kids enjoy the activities they are involved in, and if they happen to win awards, individual or group. that is just the icing on the cake.

But, none of this even begins to cover why we are proud parents.
The things that make us really proud, have never, will never, and should never make social media.
I think most parents would agree.
It's the stuff that happens off to the sidelines, off stage, and sometimes in the wee hours of the night when most of the world is asleep that is the truly good stuff.

Why We Are Proud
It's when we seeing you being kind to someone who desperately needs kindness.  Yes, even someone who has been mean to you.
It's when we see you working late into the night to make sure a paper, a musical piece, or a project is not just okay but something you are sure is your very best effort.
It's when you've had a hard day, but pick yourself up and keep going, even when you just want to crawl into bed.
It's when you show your true grit.
It's when you fight your demons.  We all have them.
It's when you help your friends fight their demons.  They all have them.
It's when you shed tears for not just yourself but also for the people you care about.
It's when you shed tears for people across the globe that you have never met
It's when you bake cookies for someone who is going through a hard time
It's when you want to bake cookies for people across the globe that you have never met
It's when you are so unbelievably happy because something wonderful happened.......to someone else
It's when you stop yourself when you realize unkind words are coming out of your mouth.
It's when you know you are wrong, and admit you are wrong.
It's when you know you are right, but you are humble.
It's when you apologize.
It's when you don't complain about giving up something fun to honor a previous commitment.
It's when you stop doing something fun to help someone who needs you "right now!"
It's when you stand up for what you believe in, even when that means arguing with us.  Sigh.
It's when you realize you cannot change some people and learn to walk away.
It's when you educate others, with respect, and show them a new perspective.
It's when you listen to someone who is teaching you, show respect, and keep an open mind.
It's when you put one foot in front of the other
  
It's when you show love.


I suppose the list could go on and on.

As I said before, in the next couple of weeks you will probably see lots of pictures on social media, of not just our kid, but lots of kids doing their rite of passage things.  They will look pretty and handsome.  Their hair will be done nicely or freshly cut.   Their lipstick will be perfect and their suits will be well tailored.  They will be social media ready.

But there is so much more to all of their stories that none of us will see.   And, that's how it should be. It may not be as pretty, and it cannot always be nicely filtered on Instagram.   But, I guarantee you it's there.

It's why we are proud.