Why We Are Proud

In a couple of days I will no longer be a parent with a child in the public school system.
In a couple of days my youngest child will have her last day of school, then she will graduate, and then we, as a family, will be off the grid.   Sure, our kids are still in school but not down the street, not even in the same town.   The familiar hum that has buzzed in the background of our lives for the last fifteen years will quiet.   It will be strange.   Tonight will be our last school concert. I can't even count how many concerts we have been to over the years.    The strong music program in our school system was a major factor in why we stayed in here and it has been "instrumental" in shaping our kids into who they are, and for that we are eternally grateful.   I am sure, and I apologize in advance, that for the next few weeks my social media sites will be full of "end of year" "end of an era" pictures.   Most likely they will feature a clean, happy, well-coiffed girl and her proud parents.   And, we are quite proud.  

But here's the thing, and I think most parents of new graduates would agree, these pictures, as lovely as they are, don't even come close to showing the world why we are proud of our kids.   And, even if you looked at every single picture I've ever posted, I doubt you would find that golden nugget of what makes us beam with pride.   We are ever so happy that our kids managed to complete thirteen years of school without failing or being kicked out.  That is indeed quite an accomplishment.  We are pleased that they can clean up so nicely, put on a lovely dress, and look confident and beautiful either alone or next to a handsome date for prom.   We are even more pleased when that pretty girl comes home safely at the end of the evening (pretty please!).  That is truly every parent's dream.   We are so happy when our kids enjoy the activities they are involved in, and if they happen to win awards, individual or group. that is just the icing on the cake.

But, none of this even begins to cover why we are proud parents.
The things that make us really proud, have never, will never, and should never make social media.
I think most parents would agree.
It's the stuff that happens off to the sidelines, off stage, and sometimes in the wee hours of the night when most of the world is asleep that is the truly good stuff.

Why We Are Proud
It's when we seeing you being kind to someone who desperately needs kindness.  Yes, even someone who has been mean to you.
It's when we see you working late into the night to make sure a paper, a musical piece, or a project is not just okay but something you are sure is your very best effort.
It's when you've had a hard day, but pick yourself up and keep going, even when you just want to crawl into bed.
It's when you show your true grit.
It's when you fight your demons.  We all have them.
It's when you help your friends fight their demons.  They all have them.
It's when you shed tears for not just yourself but also for the people you care about.
It's when you shed tears for people across the globe that you have never met
It's when you bake cookies for someone who is going through a hard time
It's when you want to bake cookies for people across the globe that you have never met
It's when you are so unbelievably happy because something wonderful happened.......to someone else
It's when you stop yourself when you realize unkind words are coming out of your mouth.
It's when you know you are wrong, and admit you are wrong.
It's when you know you are right, but you are humble.
It's when you apologize.
It's when you don't complain about giving up something fun to honor a previous commitment.
It's when you stop doing something fun to help someone who needs you "right now!"
It's when you stand up for what you believe in, even when that means arguing with us.  Sigh.
It's when you realize you cannot change some people and learn to walk away.
It's when you educate others, with respect, and show them a new perspective.
It's when you listen to someone who is teaching you, show respect, and keep an open mind.
It's when you put one foot in front of the other
  
It's when you show love.


I suppose the list could go on and on.

As I said before, in the next couple of weeks you will probably see lots of pictures on social media, of not just our kid, but lots of kids doing their rite of passage things.  They will look pretty and handsome.  Their hair will be done nicely or freshly cut.   Their lipstick will be perfect and their suits will be well tailored.  They will be social media ready.

But there is so much more to all of their stories that none of us will see.   And, that's how it should be. It may not be as pretty, and it cannot always be nicely filtered on Instagram.   But, I guarantee you it's there.

It's why we are proud.