Love in the Time of Coronavirus

keeping a safe distance

I keep hearing jokes about all the babies that are going to be born nine months from now with all the self-quarantining going on and all I can think is,

"Well, that doesn't sound like social distancing at all."

But seriously, most people I know are trying their hardest to keep everyone around them safe.  This is what love in the time of Coronavirus is, figuring how we, the individual, can do the least amount of damage to our communities and the people we love for the duration of this crazy time in history.  This seems to mean, contrary to normal times, distancing ourselves from those we love most.

So, what does that look like?

It looks like couples who choose to keep a physical distance from each other after one of them has travelled home or abroad.    Refraining from hugs, kisses or anything else until good health has been confirmed.

It looks like elderly parents having no visits from any family.  None whatsoever.   Any sniffle, any sneeze could be lethal so it is best for everyone to stay away.   Leave groceries on the doorstep.  Keep in contact via FaceTime or Skype if they can figure out how to use it.  Just stay away.

It looks like middle-aged parents telling their young adult children to not come home because an elderly grandmother is residing with them and they cannot risk getting her sick so they make the sacrifice of not seeing their own children to keep grandma safe.

It looks like a college student driving her friend to urgent care who has all the symptoms of the virus, knowing that this could expose and endanger her and will make it necessary for her to keep a distance from her family.

It looks like parents self-quarantining themselves with a college student who has been sent home early from a study abroad program.  The college student has been strongly advised to self-quarantine for two weeks so the parents agree to self-quarantine too.   Groceries and "medicinal" liquor is purchased before the student's plane even touches ground and then the family retreats behind close doors for two weeks, doors proverbially locked, with a vow to see no one but each other.

It looks like empty nester parents all over the country, the world, cancelling vacation plans at the last minute because their student's schools are sending students home.  And, the parents realize the importance of being home for their children who are coming home in a dazed, confused state wondering what just happened.   Sure, they could be on a beach with margaritas in their hands, but being with their children is better, right?

It looks like young friends in college having to say goodbye to their campus friends not knowing when or if they will be seeing each other again.  Some will go abroad, some will graduate (with or without a graduation?), some will move to distant cities.   These friends say goodbye with long hugs because no one is there to stop them and say, "that's just not safe" and they've they spent the last few months in close proximity anyway.   It's far too late for them to "be safe".  If the virus lives amongst them, it lives in all of them already.  One last hug will not change that.

It looks like these same young people returning home, keeping in touch with friends down the street via text and FaceTime instead of hanging out at each other's houses, laying on each others couches with legs and arms all intertwined, like they have always done.  They haven't seen each other in weeks or months.  They don't want to infect each other with whatever they might have brought home.

It looks likes older, long time friends greeting each other in wide open, outdoor "safe" spaces with a head nod or a foot bump instead of a big hug, when a big hug is exactly what we all need.

It looks like hoarding frozen veggies, Lysol wipes, and toilet paper so the people we love can remain well fed, healthy and have clean bottoms for the remainder of this crisis.

It looks like constant texts going back and forth, all day, between friends and family who can't see each other asking "do you have enough food?  Wipes?  Toilet paper?"  and if not, it looks like taking from your own supply and leaving a roll of TP on the doorstep of an unfortunate friend with a dirty bottom.

It looks like constant texts going back and forth, all day, between friends and family who can't see each other asking "are you okay?  Are yours okay?  Is anyone sick? I love you."

It looks like your sick daughter coming home to get something she needs, but unable to come into the house and risk infecting those within.  It looks like sitting a couple feet away from her on your doorsteps\ even though every cell in you wants to reach over and hug her.  It looks like walking her to her car and leaning against the passenger side while she leans against the driver side facing you.  She looks at you in a pitiful way that you have never seen before and says, "this is sad."  Yes it is.   You hold each others gaze for a while, unable to hold each other.   You tell each other "I love you" and then she gets in the car and leaves.

This is love in the time of Coronavirus.