A Social Media Respite

So, a few weeks ago I took a break from Facebook.   Did you notice my absence?   I'm sorry if I missed your birthday.   I'm not sure if you care why I dropped off the social media planet but here are my main reasons.   I am consciously omitting the current political climate and our current president from this list because I do not wish to make this post political but you can feel free to put that all in category #3.

1.  The Great Time Sink.   We all know what a huge time sink social media is, and I was not immune to it's siren call.   I found myself reflexively opening the app ten times an hour even when there was nothing new to see.   "Gee, it's still "Sue's" birthday.  Did I wish her a happy birthday yet?  I'm sure her birthday will be completely ruined if I don't wish her a happy day.   Let me check her wall.  Yup.  Looks like I did and she even gave it a heart emoji.  Yay!   I just love "Sue".    Hmmmm.  When was the last time I spoke with her?  2002?  No.   Maybe 1998?  Definitely when we worked together in 1992.   I should really contact "Sue"."

Which brings me to my next reason

2.  Lack of real Social Interaction.   There are many times when I'm out and about and people come up to me and say, "Wow.   Looks like you and your husband are having a lot of fun empty nesting."  Fair.   If you look at our social media sites our life looks a lot of fun, maybe even enviable.  But, truth is this year has been one of the toughest we have had.  Not that I need to post that on social media.  No one wants to see depressing "Life Sucks" posts and when I post anything remoting smelling of negativity I instantaneously get messages from my kids saying, "You are so emo!  Why did you post that?"  Ok.  That's fair too.    In any case, before I took a break from Facebook  I had a false sense that I had many, many friends.   However, in real life I only regularly interacted with the same 10-15 people.    When I took my break from social media I posted that I would still respond to private messages and texts.  You know who I heard from?   The same 10-15 people I communicate with all the time anyway.    That being said, I have had some contact with a few people outside my usual "sphere" and I was able to have real interactions with them and find out more details about what is actually going on with them and their families    That was a pleasant bonus and I look forward to more interactions like this.    And, for those of you who are not in my "sphere" but are indeed reading this.   My sphere is not impermeable.   You are welcome anytime. :).  I am still available by private message and text.   And I would really, truly love to hear how you are doing.    You can even call me, even though only about five people know my number.   Truly.   I'm sure it's the same for you.   Don't even get me started about my landline.  I think only my mother and my next door neighbor know that number.

3.  Anxiety.   This one is a doozy.   I don't think I know a single person for whom social media does not raise their anxiety from time to time.   We talk about the hazards of social media for kids but adults are not immune.   Everyone's lives seem better on social media, more fulfilling.    They have better vacations, smarter, better looking kids (not really :)), and a career they are successful and passionate about.  You find yourself trying to measure up all the time.   It's exhausting.   I found myself wondering why someone would post something that made ME feel bad.  Didn't they know?   Was it with malicious intent?  The answer is a resounding "no" to both of those things.   No one (myself included) is thinking of anyone but themselves when they post on social media.   C'mon.  We all know it's true.   Truth is, my anxiety was crippling and I felt bad every time I browsed "the book".   Finally it dawned on me.   People had the right to post whatever the f#@k they wanted.   And, I had the right to not look.   No one can hurt my feelings if I don't look.   So I stopped.  It was an easy fix.

So, there are my reasons and they are really pretty simple.   It's only been a few weeks and so I don't think any real conclusions can be drawn from my time away.    I will say that my anxiety about not having a perfect family/life has gone way down and now I can embrace the imperfect in my life without the fear of judgement.    In terms of time, I have taught myself Arabic, knit a afghan from wool that I myself harvested and dyed,  and started a self-sufficiency farm raising goats, sheep (for wool) chickens and cows.   Just kidding.   I'm still not doing anything productive with my time.  Unless writing this blog counts.

My social circle has pretty much not changed.   Teddy remains my mostly companion (see Eloise) and everyone else is gravy.

I will probably post this blog on social media which I realize is a bit hypocritical.   But, if you don't want to read it you don't have to.    It's that easy.  (and I realize that you've already read it if you got this far and now you are doing a face/palm and saying "Oh Man!  I didn't have to read that!")

Hope you are all doing well!