1. Weeks before high school graduation: Mom and Dad cry as they send in the deposit money to Jr.'s future college. Parents are busy sending out graduation party "save the date" announcements, compiling pictures to create a scrapbook (or slideshow or video), and perhaps renting tents, bouncy houses, and balloon clowns for said party. There is hot debate over the invitation list and discussion over whether the kid who accidentally hit your kid with a pencil in 3rd grade should be invited to the festivities. Balloons and napkins are ordered in the colors of Junior's future college. Caterers are called until Mom decides it will be cheaper to cook (big mistake!).
Weeks before college graduation: Mom and Dad cried tears of happiness when they paid the last tuition bill and now Mom and Dad are vacationing in Puerto Rico. One day while sunning themselves on lounge chairs, right after fresh Pina Coladas are delivered, Mom turns to Dad and says, "When does Junior graduate again?". Dad sips his drink, turns to his wife and says, "I think in May?" Mom looks at him for a moment and then says "oh, right."
(LOL of course this isn't true! Mom and Dad don't have the money to go to Puerto Rico!! They just sent their kid to four years of college! But the conversation really does occur in their own kitchen, over their ramen noodles!)
2. One week before high school graduation: Senior Week begins and Mom and Dad spend the next week worrying about Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll! They stay up late at night praying their sons and daughters come home safe from all night parties. They talk to their children over and over again about the dangers of drinking and driving and safe sex (which is abstinence of course) and tell them to please call if they feel like they are in an unsafe situation.
One week before college graduation: Senior Week begins and Mom and Dad go to bed and watch the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Netflix. They have no idea what their child is doing and really don't want to think about it. They just hope they aren't woken in the middle of the night by their phones ringing with a call from their child begging them to "Venmo" them some money for pizza.
3. A few days before high school graduation: The grandparents arrive, the aunts and uncles arrive and everyone starts getting the house ready for the party. Everyone cries every time the soon to be graduate comes down the stairs at noon looking underslept (and probably hungover) and everyone keeps muttering "how is this possible!" "You were just born!" and hugging the poor child. Appropriate attire is purchased and/or ironed so that everyone looks shiny and clean on graduation day.
A few days before college graduation: Mom and Dad go to bed and watch Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Netflix. Dad turns to Mom and says, "Are your parents coming to graduation?" Mom says, "shhh, this is my favorite part". "Besides don't you remember the nursing home said they won't let my dad out after that incident last year?" Dad smiles, "Oh yeah. That was a good one! And I didn't think your dad could still run a mile....... and naked.....in the snow....pretty damn impressive." Mom says, "I know, right?" then she turns and laughs at the tv.
4. The day before high school graduation: Junior wakes up and says, "Mom, I think I forgot to order my graduation gown." WTF? Really? Mom spends the next 6 hours calling everyone she knows trying to find one. It turns out the neighbor's cousin's son ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning on prom night (no worries, he'll be okay) so he won't be attending graduation so "sure, he can borrow it." Once the gown has been procured Mom can't stop crying. She spends 3 hours looking at Junior's baby book and recounts the story of how he lost his first tooth when he fell off the slide on Park St. to anyone who will listen. No one is listening. Grandma makes a cake but forgets that Junior is allergic to peanuts and she has made a peanut butter cake. So, other grandma makes another cake, Junior's favorite double chocolate with butter cream frosting. Peanut Butter grandma gets upset about this and locks herself in the guest room and her son spends hours telling her "She is not Junior's favorite grandmother. I'm sorry you never had a daughter so you could be the favorite of the grandchildren. They love you Mom. Really. No Mom, it is too late for you to have a daughter. Dad died three years ago. Remember? Yes. You are too old for artificial insemination."
The day before college graduation: Mom and Dad spend the morning reading the New York Times. Mom turns to Dad and says, "Did you make the coffee yet?" Dad looks at her, thinks for a second, then says, "Silly me, I forgot". Then he gets up to make the coffee.
5. The day of high school graduation: The whole family shows up three hours early to the venue to get good seats. Mom and Dad stand in a crowd of people they have known for about 13 years. Everyone is chatting with each other politely all while quietly thinking, "Your kid was the one who threw the pencil at my kid in 3rd grade. I haven't forgotten and I will happily push you over for a good seat". When the doors open, there is a race for the "good seats". As the kids march into the venue, all cleaned up looking handsome, pretty, or maybe both, Mom and Dad tear up remembering them all growing up, all the soccer games, the plays, the play dates, and the real dates. It all went too fast. As they march across the stage one by one Mom and Dad clap for each and every one. Except for that pencil throwing kid. They refrain from clapping for that kid. They stand up and cheer when their kid crosses the stage. They fumble to take a picture but know that it will come out blurry. When it is all over they rush down to the field, or the floor to hug their child and they feel such a mix of pride and profound sadness that this stage of their child's life, their family's life, is over. That night when they go to bed, with their child safely tucked into their own bed, just a couple doors down from theirs, they cry at the thought that in a few months that bed will be empty.
The day of college graduation (pure conjecture on my part): Mom and Dad arrive on campus and get coffee at one of the numerous Starbucks on campus. They don't really know anyone so they spend some time before graduation in the campus art museum. They make their way to the graduation venue and don't worry too much about their seats because the diploma ceremony is somewhere else later in the day and they have never heard of the keynote speaker. Later at the diploma ceremony they look at the kids as they cross the stage and try to remember if that was the kid who came to their house that weekend one time. Who knows? When their kid crosses the stage and shakes the Dean's hand with a smile that indicates recognition, Mom and Dad suddenly realize that their kid has a life and people that they know nothing about. At the reception afterwords, Junior introduces them to professors and friends who all speak glowingly about their child and say things like, "See you later at Charlie's!" to your child as they disappear back into the crowd. Mom and Dad wonder who Charlie is - is it a friend? more than a friend? who knows? After the festivities, the family goes back to their child's dorm room to pack it all up. Mom notices pictures of people all over the wall that she's never met, and probably never will meet. Dad finds a bong and looks at Junior across the room, who quickly says, "that's Charlie's!". Who the heck is Charlie? When the room is empty they give the key to the lady at the desk. Junior looks at Mom and Dad and says, "So, I'll see you at home later?"
"Sure," they say, and they retreat to their car.
"Should we watch the last episode of Mrs. Maisel when we get home?" asks Dad.
6. One month after high school graduation: Junior is exhausted from weekend after weekend of grad parties. Mom is after junior to go shopping for college supplies. Things are tense at home. "You need to spend some time at home" Mom says, "We have things to do". Junior says "I know" and then heads out the door. Mom's heart sinks. Sometimes Junior falls asleep on the couch in the afternoon and she looks at that sweet, angelic face. "It really hasn't changed" she thinks as she remembers the same face on a napping kindergartener. Her love for her child swells in her heart and she's so grateful to have them, at this moment, on the couch, even if they are sleeping.
One month after college graduation (also pure conjecture on my part): Dad has fallen asleep early again and Mom is sneaking downstairs to get a glass of water. She passes Junior's room and can't resist going in and turning on the light to look around. No one lives in this room anymore. They live in an apartment in the city now, miles away. They have a new home. She runs her finger over the bookshelf and realizes it needs dusting. She smiles as she looks at the book spines and remembers the hours spent in this very room on the bed just behind her, sharing these beloved books, laughing at the antics of the BFG, turning pages quickly to find out what mischief Voldemort was up to, being amazed at the contraptions the Baudelaire children came up with to escape the evil Count Olaf, and crying when the lovely Beth March died. Mom runs her fingers over the books with great tenderness. She hears footsteps behind her. "You coming to bed?" Dad says. "Yeah" says Mom. "We should really think of getting rid of all those books and making this room into something else." Dad says. Mom shuffles back towards the bedroom forgetting all about her water. Dad goes to turn off the light and as he shuts the door, he peeks his head in and says to no one in particular, "Good Night Moon!"
Lovely
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