This week our little town made headlines when a football "hazing" incident was made public. A hazing incident that happened over a month ago. A hazing incident, that by all reports, is not really hazing, but if the non-confirmed reports are true, more likely assault, and possibly rape. The kids involved were known bullies, one of them was even the reason for another child having no choice but to leave the school system. But, despite their many misdeeds, they walked the halls of the school, while others fled in fear. There are all sorts of allegations about the coaches too. This incident happened at a camp. These are kids. Where were the adults when all this happened? Why didn't they know what was going on? Why didn't they stop it if they did? And, why aren't they being held accountable? I know a teacher who told me that if she went on a field trip with her students and something bad happened she would expect to be fired. Yet, from what I understand, all the coaches who were at the camp, have been actively coaching, and were at last Friday night's game.
You hear things about the "all boys club" and how administrators turn a blind eye to things going on with the football team because it is the heart and soul of the school, but you really, really hope it's not true.
There were articles about all of this in the paper. In one article, I came across a comment that said,
Good luck getting any answers or actions from the school. I contacted the Athletic Director back in June on why he allowed the Cheer Coach to bully, degrade and terrify the CHS Cheerleaders. Other parents approached him and some of the cheerleaders even approached the Dean. Guess what.....SHE IS STILL THE CHS CHEER COACH!!!
see the whole article here
Oh. So, now we're back to cheerleading.
Silly me, I thought the issue surrounding letting my daughter cheer was about feminism, gender roles, and, ultimately, letting my daughter pursue her dreams without judgement.
Here's the thing. She might hate me for a while if I say she can't cheer. She might hate me for years.
But, she will move on. She will find lots of things that "float her boat". She is a pretty happy kid, and she is at an age where the world is her oyster.
There is something I know through my own experiences in life and being a parent.
You don't easily get over being bullied, or degraded, or terrorized.
It follows you for a long, long time and takes many hours of work to get over, but you never forget.
That's why we expect the adults in the schools to provide a healthy environment. And why, someone needs to be held accountable when something goes horribly wrong and when four young lives, and many more unaccounted for, are forever altered.
So, I think for now, as things stand, I will say a firm "no" to cheerleading.
I will keep her out of the lion's den. (pun intended)
I will let my daughter hate me, if she so chooses.
I will let her hate me with a beautifully intact spirit and healthy self-esteem.
It's worth it.
Amen, Sista Deb! I have 3 non-fictional sons. Two have expressed interest in the past to play football. We have said no. For many reasons. One because it is sport that asks you to do so much standing around or practicing in full gear in hot weather to then barely play a minute in a real game. Another is that they are both fast compact people who would be the person catching the ball and being at the bottom of pile of people who all out weigh them. The elder of the two who whined all through freshman year of High School to play football, now considers us wise to encourage to play a sport where most his time at the field is spent on it actually playing the game. So your daughter may hate you now but soon enough she will know that you had her back in the way that only a good parent does.
ReplyDeleteWell said.
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing you are not ignorant and were able to get the opinions of the Football coaches....You know exactly how they feel what they were thinking and how they are reacting to this situation. Lets put all the blame on the coaches...Let's not take into the fact that these kids have parents who raised them. It's not there fault that their kids have turned into monsters...It's the Coaches fault!!! Thanks for clearing that up!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your response. I am not letting the parents off the hook, but they weren't at the camp where this happened, were they?
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